Dear me four months ago,
Are you dead? Because you’re certainly not living!
You don’t know it now, but you have traded four months of your life for an uncertain letter of the alphabet, that may or may not help you get into university.
Do you think it’s worth it?
The endless stagnating days, where there’s always a stressor at the back of your mind; whether it be university, or exams, or how you should have skipped breakfast to get an extra hour of work in.
You self obsessed moron…
Always thinking about yourself, and if you’ve done enough practice papers; Did you ever ask your dad how his work is going? You know, the work that has kept you above the breadline your whole life? Sure times have been hard, what with the economic crisis and all, but he’s a big boy, he’ll be fine!
You precious little priority!
I don’t want to be mean younger Sarah, but your attitude to work makes me sick- literally! Exams are over, yet I’m still so tense that I can’t sleep, as not having anything to do or worry about is alien to me!
You gave up reading and writing- the two things you really love- for so long, that I feel guilty if i ever open a book that isn’t educational, or write a paragraph that doesn’t form a mind map.
Do you remember what Dad always tells us?
“Don’t forget to smell the flowers”
Instead you crush them underfoot; time spent “smelling flowers” is better spent learning ridiculous facts that become redundant the moment you’ve written the exam.
Think of the bigger picture younger me. A-levels are a step towards a slightly bigger step of university, which is another step towards the bigger step of work, and so on.
You compartmentalise these sections of life, and see failure as a thing to be feared.
You don’t look at the bigger picture.
Take too many ‘steps’, and you’ll reach the summit wondering what you did with your life other than read, copy, memorise, forget. Read, copy, memorise, forget.
I know you hate being cheesy- but it’s called for. Life is a journey, younger me, and you should enjoy every second of it- not just what you receive at the end.
Stop stressing the stupid little things you absolute idiot, and start sniffing some flowers- even if some of them smell like shit.
Love from me in four months time.